mi espresso

Question and Answer

2008-08-04T07:53:00.000-07:00

What makes me happy?
-Faith
-Family
-Good Health
-Friends
-Someone special :)
-Peace
-Work
-Money

What makes me sad?
-Death
-Sickness
-Regrets
-Fear

Who helped me to be who I am?
-GOD
-Family
-Friends
-Someone who "was" special
-Teachers

Who taught me courage?
-Enemies
-Critics
-Failures

Regrets?
-Having been SCARED
-Missing opportunities to love
-Giving up

Fears?
-Losing people I love
-Giving up

Princess Hannahn

2008-07-27T05:29:00.000-07:00

My princess turned 7 last June 8.

Semi-Annual Blogging

2008-06-19T08:30:00.000-07:00

Hayyyy! Di na naman ako makatulog. Kasi uminom ako ng coffee late in the afternoon. Eto ako ngayon, parang kagigising lang. Nanonood ako ng Nuts Entertainment. Nakakatuwa rin ang games nila. Yung current game is burahan ng pirma sa katawan using body parts except for the hands. Hahaha... nakakatuwa panoorin ang mga game participants.

Kanina, sumabay sa amin mag-dinner si tantan (yung 4 years old kong pamangkin). Nakakatuwa kasi she is already active in conversations. In fact, she is starting to lead the discussions nga. Andami niya nang kwento. At first I'm just taking her presence for granted, but later, I realized that I'm missing their growing up years. Andami niyang kwento tungkol sa school. Nagiging aware na siya sa mga nangyayari sa paligid niya. Tinanong siya ng mother ko kung ilan silang cute sa school. She had a big smile saying na "ako lang ang cute." So I tested her understanding of the word. Sabi ko bakit niya nasabing cute siya... Ano ba ang meaning ng cute... She answered "siya lang daw ang maliit sa school nila." Hayyy... I really enjoyed her company and it made our simple dinner a special one.

Happy Three Kings!!!

2008-01-06T04:34:00.000-08:00

Happy three kings talaga today... Kahit masama ang pakiramdam ko, nag-enjoy ako partying with the kids... Di ko alam kung anong sumpong ang dumapo sa nanay ko at naghanda. May cake, spaghetti, fried chicken, ice cream at ham. Ang role ko, tiga-kain... Nagtrabaho din naman ako dahil ako ang operator ng CD Player.... para sa game na stop dance.

I also watched Master and Commander... simple lang ang movie pero interested ako sa strategies ng captains sa war movies at kung paano nila hinahandle ang kanilang mga soldiers. I believe kasi na these types of movies are good sources of leadership qualities... kung pano mo i-improve ang isang tao, kung pano mo magi-gain ang respect nila at kung paano mo maidedefend ang iyong post.

Di naman kailangan na ikaw ang pinakamagaling, ang kailangan yung kaya mo silang i-influence at ichange ang kanilang mindset... Kung parati mong i-isipin na dapat ikaw ang laging magaling, you'll all end up competing with each other. It is very important kasi na you both learn from each other... Sa movie, three things ang inistress about leadership: strength, respect and discipline. Which I truly believe... Discipline is the key. Kung ang isang tao walang disiplina sa sarili, I think he can neither be a good leader nor a team player... strength? not necessarily physical strength but strong influence and courage... Respect... that's for you to ponder na lang... inaantok na ako eh.

Scary Tuesday

2007-12-04T05:38:00.000-08:00

Hay, ano ba ang meron sa gabing ito. Ang ganda ganda ng panonood ko ng Pangarap na Bituin (it's my 2nd time to watch the series) may narinig akong umiiyak. Eh kasalukuyang commercial so I'm sure na di galing sa TV yon. I started to get curious so I looked for the remote to lower the volume. Unfortunately, I can't find it. The cry was getting louder so I had to get up from the bed and turn off the TV myself. I confirmed that there was someone crying in our factory and it was a cry of a grown-up... So I quickly went outside to check what's the matter. It was one of our clerk in SariSari. Her bag was snatched just two houses away from ours. The snatcher, by the way was riding a motorcycle. Imagine, 2 houses away. It's so scary to think na merong ganong mga tao sa lugar namin.

So, I returned to our house and started my evening routine... Ako lang mag-isa sa bahay kasi lahat sila nasa gawaan pa rushing some deliveries for tomorrow. While alone in the CR biglang tumahimik at nahimasmasan na lang ako nung nabingi ako sa sarili kong sigaw. Eh paano naman, biglang nag brownout at ang unang pumasok sa isip ko eh si "Almira" ng La Vendetta... hayyy... di ba super scary... inaantay ko na lang na may liwanag na umappear somewhere. Buti naman at wala kung hindi baka sa susunod maging friends na kami at dalawa na kaming mandadalaw dahil namatay ako sa atake sa puso (tsk tsk tsk)

Little Sisters of the Poor

2007-12-04T05:30:00.000-08:00

Several months ago, while we were serving as a choir in a small parish in Sta. Lucia, Sister Rosario was also there fulfilling her apostolate. She is a member of the "Little Sisters of the Poor" congregation. A congregation that takes care of abandoned elders and those who do not have anybody to take care of them. The moment I heard her short talk of their mission and what they do, an opportunity to serve God immediately entered my mind. I approached her and got a brochure she was distributing. The brochure contained the contact number and more information of their congregation. After that first meeting, I got busy again with my studies, work, my own life, my leisures... sad to say... I did not do anything.

Yesterday, God gave me the desire, the courage and most of all the opportunity to visit their home in Pasay City. It was not a smooth attempt though because I was supposed to do it prior to my birthday which I had to cancel to attend to personal things instead... Yesterday, I had to defend my appointment to my brother because he also is serving the church... but I insisted that we need to prioritize my appointment (which by the way he has no knowledge about it... though I'm sure that he'll be the first one to push me to this mission if he knew about it.) because it was already postponed last week... Finally, with his complete ignorance of where I am going to, he agreed. So, I made sure that the address was already safe in my bag... and I headed to work... I instructed the driver to pick me at 1:00 PM...

It was a usual Saturday for me... I didn't work too much to give myself a little time to do what I want. After all, I worked all the way during the weekday... At exactly 1 PM, I went down because I was expecting for the driver. While waiting, I did a quick check on my bag for the address and I can't find it anywhere... I was quite disappointed because I was sure that it was there when I left... Okay... I just went up again... started my PC and searched for the address in the internet... I went down again and it was 1:30... So I started waiting again... It's 1:45 and still the driver hasn't arrived... I'm starting to get irritated... I thought that my brother intentionally had to delay him for his own affairs... Finally, at 2:00PM he arrived.

It was a long travel because of the heavy traffic. I slept in the car and woke up when we were in Makati area. It was a deep sleep. If I hadn't dreamed that I was falling off from bed, I guess I wouldn't have been awake yet. Anyway, when we were near the area, we had to ask for some directions. It wasn't that hard though. When we reached Lancaster Street, we looked for #50. We didn't saw it, but I saw Nanay Remy (I didn't knew her during that time) strolling outside. I knew it was what I was looking for.

The guard asked some questions and in a short while, the steel gate automatically opened by itself. I was quite surprised to see this kind of gate for a charity home. I only see those kind of gates in private buildings... When I got inside, I saw about ten elders taking their afternoon rest. Peaceful and clean environment... that was my first impression. I was expecting it though in a place managed by religious orders... I immediately saw the elevator. It is stainless, new and modern. I looked around from where I was standing and saw 4 more elders on the second floor. They were in wheelchairs and caregivers were pulling them to their desired spot. Everybody was looking at me and I was overwhelmed not knowing what to do. Frankly speaking, I felt that I was a stranger to the place. The receptionist immediately called for Sister Rosario. While waiting for her, about 2 elders approached me. They were asking me questions and entertaining me. Most of the time I just smiled and answered their questions briefly. I didn't know what to ask them. I didn't know what to do. I really didn't know what I can do for them. I just knew one thing. I have a mission to fulfill.

When Sister Rosario came down, it took some time for me to make her remember me. The acquaintance happened quite a long time ago and it was very informal because there were also many people talking to her, eager to know about the mission of their congregation. After a short chat with the elders, she toured me to the home. The first room we visited was the auditorium. I like the stage because it was ideal for a short play or a show. Groups who visit for outreach do their performance in the auditorium. They also sponsor merienda for the residents. Next, we took the elevator to go to the 2nd floor. On our way to the chapel, we met Sister Paul. She is french but she speaks tagalog. We had a little chat again and another elder approached me; she was newly operated. Finally, we reached the chapel. The door has a sensor to automatically open and close when someone enters. Shortly, after I made the sign of the cross, two elders approached me again. They advised me to come back on Christmas. They also promised to give me candies (hihihi I gave them a big smile because I got excited for the candies)... The next place we visited was the living room, there were some elders watching TV. We also visited the residents' room which can accommodate two residents. Each room has its own comfort room. I also had the chance to greet some of the residents in their rooms. Most of them are in wheelchairs. Some have amputated legs. Others are half-paralyzed. They were all saying the same things "come back on christmas." I was really unsure if I can do it. To some, I said yes just not to disappoint them. I was feeling guilty though because I might be giving them false hopes. It took me some time to say finally "If I'm not back on christmas, I'm definitely coming back," and I am sure about it. The other places I saw were the veranda and the gym.

Going down, we took the elevator again. It was funny because the first resident I saw at the gate was Nanay Remy. When we get to the second floor I saw her again. When we went down, she was the first resident I saw again. It seems that she's everywhere.

We were offered a merienda. While eating at the pantry, I got to have a longer conversation with Sister Rosario. I kept saying that the building is so nice, it is complete with all amenities. Not to mention, all residents have glowing skin and fresh looking faces. Their clothes are clean. In short, you wouldn't think that each of them had their own trials and miseries. If not for Sister Rosario who kept on telling me that the residents came from poor families, some of them came from Golden Acres, I would be convinced that they came from rich families. Maybe, Sr. Rosario felt the need to orient me. She shared to me a story about a visitor who commented that they do not need any help because of the nice building and its amenities. In response to the comment, she said that "It's not the building you are helping, it's the residents. You do not know what trials and miseries they experienced. You don't know their past." It quite convinced me until I heard her next statements. "One of our mission is to bring them closer to God. How can we do that if they are hungry? How can we do that if they are sick? They are people and we need to give them dignity. People will not go near them if they are dirty. We want to treat them how humans should be treated. The first thing we need to do is to feed them. Make sure that they are all free from sickness. Make them feel good about themselves. Let them feel that they have dignity. Make people respect them." I was strucked by her statements because I understood clearly what she meant. The 41 "GOOD-LOOKING" residents were "41 TRANSFORMED LIVES". They clearly illustrate what it means to "TAKE CARE." The "Little Sisters of the Poor," teaches us how to be "HUMBLE" and be a true "SERVANT." They are not working for their families, they are not earning for their own needs. They are working to "GIVE GOOD LIVES TO OTHER PEOPLE." They are living to "SERVE OUR GOD."

My 32nd Birthday

2007-11-28T06:26:00.000-08:00

It was my birthday yesterday. It was one of my happiest
birthday... I felt so contented with everything... and I
feel peace within me. Full of gratitude ako kay God sa
lahat ng blessings Niya. I can't think of anything less...
puro more...

On the eve of my birthday, my mother surprised me with
a Black Forest Cake from Red Ribbon... Eh yun yung
favorite cake ko of all... Siyempre ingats ingats ako sa
pagkain dahil baka maimpatso ko... Aside from the great
taste of it, mas naenjoy ko yung mga pamangkin ko na
mas excited pa sa akin sa pagkain ng cake. In fact,
nakalimutan ata nilang akin yun... hehehe... pero masaya
talaga kasama yung mga pamangkin ko... Kahit minsan
pinapatulan ko sila, forgive and forget naman sila sa
katarayan ni tita...

Bukod sa cake, super entertained ako sa bago kong
cellphone... It's a Nokia 6120 classic. I bought a samsung
U700 cellphone first but the camera and video are
terrible... so I switched to Nokia... It's definitely better.
Siyempre mega store ako ng songs ni Josh Groban...
Nung mismong birthday ko, we decided to order 2 18"
pizza from Yellow Cab. Kaso, may training pa ako from
2 to 5 so we again decided to place our order at 4PM... I
had to make the training quick nga eh... kasi otherwise,
di ko maaabutan yung pizza hahahah.... so medyo
shinort cut ko ng konti...

Pag balik ko sa office, pinatawag ako ng boss ko... pag dating ko sa office niya he gave me
a firm handshake and a warm greeting... siyempre super
appreciate ko yun...

So after about 40 minutes, dumating na ang pizza...
siyempre tsibugan na... super gulat ako kasi meron pala
silang biniling cake for me... Red Ribbon ulit...
kakatuwa... tagal ko na ulit nagblow ng candle.... hehehe

Pagdating sa bahay my family went out for a dinner...
super busog ako... pero looking forward to the next day
kasi nagtabi ako ng birthday cake ko eh... hehehe di
naman ako matakaw eh... mahilig lang talaga ako sa Red
Ribbon na cake :) After namin nag-dinner nagkantahan
ng konti tapos bumili kami ng ice cream sa Robinsons...
tuloy ang kainan sa bahay...

Ganon ang nangyari sa 32nd birthday... It was a long
day but it was definitely one of my happiest.

Helpless with No Option

2007-11-21T06:31:00.000-08:00

I am so frustrated today... I was trapped kasi in a situation that is a consequence of other's actions... and I have no choice but to resolve it... The bad thing is... they didn't know that they caused it... and if they did... No difference... they can't do something about it... because they simply do not know what to do... Kainis di ba?

I was exerting too much effort to control myself... I tried to keep quiet but evil thoughts keep on coming to my head... I tried to go out for awhile and I burst into tears... It's the best thing I think... honestly, it's even more productive than confronting the concerned people who cannot do what they are suppose to do.

My Confession

2007-11-20T04:51:00.000-08:00

This is one of my favorite songs of Josh Groban... Feel na feel ko kasi yung pag-po-propose ng Guy sa kanyang love... hehehe... As if On Bended Knee...

Kwento ito ng guy na di pinapansin yung babae... Kaso nung nawala si girl, ayun! Sobra niya na-miss and he felt that his world is starting to fall apart... All the while pala eh he's getting too much strength from the girl. Now, it's his turn na to beg... read ninyo yung lyrics... tapos try ninyo pakinggan yung song... Sobra kayong matotouch...

"My Confession"

I have been blind, unwilling to see
The true love you're giving.
I have ignored every blessing.
I'm on my knees confessing

That I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face.
I am staggered by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace.

And I feel my heart is turning,
Falling into place.
I can't hide
Now hear my confession.

I have been wrong about you.
Thought I was strong without you.
For so long nothing could move me.
For so long nothing could change me.

Now I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face.
I am captured by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace.

And I feel my heart is turning,
Falling into place.
I can't hide
Now hear my confession.

[Bridge:]You are the air that I breathe.
You're the ground beneath my feet.
When did I stop believing?

Cause I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face.
I am staggered by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace.
And I feel my heart Falling into place.
I can't hide
Now hear my confession.
I can't hide
Now hear my confession.
Hear my confession

And there was silence...

2007-11-20T04:25:00.000-08:00

My morning is a little chaotic... with users complaining about their hard times on the new look and feel of our legacy system. I spent the morning working on fixes for user's issues which I should upload during lunch break while everybody is away from their pcs... taking that power nap... As expected, after I deployed the fixes there was silence (hahaha)... the phones stopped ringing and for awhile we had peace in our group...

My afternoon? well i did data cleansing on records with unbalanced item totals on purchase records. Actually, those records are the ghosts of my bad software engineering... I failed to anticipate... or rather... I ignored the fact that my system might be extended to provide more functionalities and features... My mistakes are now haunting me!!! Lesson learned? Always consider extensibility when designing an application...

Once in a Blue Moon (By Sydney Forest)

2007-11-19T05:51:00.000-08:00

This song is about a person waiting for his/her lover to come back. Probably, the person is asking for another chance... The melody is great because it is so relaxing. I recommend it being played late in the afternoon. Mga 5:30 PM while watching the sunset.

the room is empty
the lights are dim
and my heart wonders
if I'll ever see you again

my tears are hungry
for an open door
when your arms held me
I never felt that way before

I'll be waiting
I'll be watching
under a blue moon

the taste of heaven
only happens
once in a blue moon
once in a blue moon

do you remember
when the wind blew free
and we fit together
so naturally

if the wind closes a door
it will open another

Busy Monday

2007-11-19T05:30:00.000-08:00

It was a tiring day... I usually consider the day with lots of development stuff as a tiring one but I think attending to meetings is even more tiring. Actually, I'm wondering why... Maybe, there is too much effort in letting others understand what you mean... what you want...

I attended three (3) meetings today: the first one concerns the implementation of one of our newly developed system. The second was a confidential one. The third is concerned about data cleansing. Aside from that, we also received several calls from users wondering about the new enhancements in our purchase requisition system. I'm just glad I had the time to chit chat with my team... It's so fun when we discuss nonsense things... It makes me remember for awhile that the world is not all about monitors, keyboards and CPUs...

My friend from U.S. also left me an offline message... Well, she just assured me that if by chance she would meet Josh Groban, she would ask for his autograph and send it to me. It made me excited for awhile :)

My former officemate also replied to my birthday message... We'll be going out on our annual date and again I got excited.. I suggested for us to just go to brick water in CCP. There's a place there (I forgot the name) with so many restaurants and a coffee shop. We might just have dinner and then spend the rest of the night in the coffee shop catching up with stories about ourselves, our neighbors (hahaha)... bahala na...

My Names are:

2007-11-17T23:40:00.001-08:00

Well, at this point eh nag-uupload ako ng files... waiting for 55 minutes to finish uploading(which i hope is not true)... eh medyo nagreminisce ako ng kaunti... Just want to let all of you know ang different names ko...

Yolly - yan ang tawag sa kin ng almost 95% ng mga friends ko. Kahit mga bagong kakilala ko Yolly din ang tawag sa kin... yan na rin ang name na binibigay ko sa mga ka memeet ko lang... Di ko matandaan kung sa'n nanggaling ang nickname na yan.

Yols - yan ang tawag sa akin ng isang best friend ko... Oo isa... sorry na lang kasi very fortunate ako to have two best friends that I treasure and dearly love... Sila ang best found ko nung college ako... Thankful nga ako kay Lord kasi pinipray ko isa lang... Dalawa ang binigay... hehehe

Yolanda - yan ang tawag sa akin ng tatay ko... wala siyang ibang pangalan na itinawag sa akin yan lang... yan din ang tawag sa kin ng nanay ko pag handa niya na ko paluin. kaya pag yan na ang narinig ko, mega-run na ko palapit dahil kung hindi... isang malapad na tsinelas ang dadapo sa katawan ko. Yan din ang tawag sa kin ng isang teacher kong terror... Grabe! Ilang beses akong pinaiyak nun... Pag tawag niya sa kin ng Yolanda... sabay manlalaki ang mga mata niya... kaya medyo traumatic sa kin ang name na yan... Feeling ko pag tinatawag akong Yolanda, may galit sa akin yung tao... hehehe

Andang - yan ang tawag ng mga kapamilya ko... yung katukayo kong si Cynthia siya ang nagbinyag sa kin yan... Bilang ganti, tinawag ko siyang Enchang(bwa hahaha)

Dang - yan na ang tawag ng mga kapamilya ko sa kin dahil dalaga na raw ako... Pati si Enchang yan na rin ang tawag sa kin. Kaya bilang gantimpala... tinatawag ko na rin siyang "Chang"

Yolly Babes - yan ang tawag sa kin ng mga officemates ko sa first work ko... Dahil ako ang pinakabata sa team... at alam ninyo na... tinawag nila akong Yolly Babes. Kaya inis na inis ako sa palabas na Babe... kasi feeling ko mukha akong Baboy(oink! oink! oink!)

Yolly Bolly - yan ang tawag sa akin ng isang boss ko sa former office namin... Di ko alam kung bakit... Buti na nga lang at di naging "Yolly Bully" kasi di naman kapani-paniwala di ba (arrrr! arrr! Arrr!) Anyway, nag-iisa yata siyang tumawag sa kin ng ganyan... Siguro kasi magka-rhyme kaya naisip niya... SIguro poet siya (hihihi)

Yowli - yan ang tawag sa kin ng foreigner kong boss... at ng iba naming foreign clients... Actually di naman ow ang spelling niyan... long O as in Oh... sosyal nOh!

Meron pang isang tawag ang mga kapatid ko... Kaso di ko pwedeng ilagay dito... kasi pag tinatawag nila ako nun... naaasar ako... eh ayoko naman maasar habang nirereview ko ang profile ko diba... Kaya wag na lang...

Consolation to the Bereaved

2006-07-16T05:42:00.000-07:00

Every night before I go to sleep, I pray for my father that he may find the way to God's kingdom in heaven. I often asked the Lord how is my father doing because I believe that He is watching over Him through out his journey. I think of my father walking in a tunnel glowing with white light.

Tonight is very lonely. I kept on putting in my thoughts that my father is alive and I burst into tears. And I remember the past when there were only six of us in our home. We were so happy then and I knew what it mean to have a family.

I really praise and thank God for being so good to me and my family. What I feel right now is sorrowful and it caused me to shed too much tears. Yet, I know that for whatever reason, this is just a beginning of our family's reunion with Him.

To a bereaved, the greatest consolation is the realization of Christ's unprecedented suffering and conquer of death. By this we'll know that prior to our pains, God had tasted and experienced it himself. And Mother Mary bore the pain with Him. Yet He allowed those things because those are essential for the fulfillment of His ultimate mission here on earth.

A Prayer for My Father

2006-07-01T07:46:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

I pray that You guide my father on his journey to Your kingdom. May Your eternal light shine on him to lead him on his way. May all his pains and sorrows vanish from his memory. May he be blessed with cleansed spirit and pure soul that he may be able to enter Your kingdom.

When he knocks at Your door, I pray that You welcome him in Your loving hours. I also pray that You grant him with eternal bliss...

Recognize him O Lord, for he has waited for You so long. In his 25 years imprisonment from a body that had been half dead and almost 5 years of life in bed, he had always called for Your name hoping that one day You would rescue him from his miseries.

The time has come O Lord, that You heard his prayers. The time had come for my father to take his own journey... alone... And it always comforts me when I know that You've always been with him... with us...

Take care of my father O Lord. I will never see him in this life again but I'm hoping that someday, someday... I'll see him again and I'll embrace him... I'll embrace him so tight... which I have never done in my life...

These are Simple Words

2005-04-30T16:35:00.000-07:00

It's just so nice to have known a man
Who taught me not to live in illusions and expectations.
Instead accept that reality is not always good
and might be painful.

It's just so nice to have known a man
Who knows how to win people's hearts
Let their hearts speak
and mind express their thoughts
And be assured that this man will truly understand.

It's just so nice to have known a man
Who is not afraid to show himself
Let others know who he is
and who he's not
He may not be capable of doing everything
but surely he does great things.

It's just so nice to have known a man
Who lives his life lightly
It makes you see his courage and
power to take every situation under control.

Yes of course I don't see him as a perfect man
But certainly he's a good man!

YollyD.

A Prayer for Improvement

2005-04-30T16:30:00.002-07:00

Dear Jesus,

I know that I should not feel bad. Please help me become a better person by making me focus on my goals and not on other's fortunes.

Please always show me my blessings and do not shut my eyes to the beauty of my life.

Please give me patience to wait for the harvest season whil I am planting my seeds.

Please do not let me forget that You're always there to save when I'm drowning.

Please make me shut my mouth if my words will not contribute to Your glory.

Please let me live my life to let others see Your works and wonders through me. To let them see Your goodness and Your glory.

Please do not let evil overshadow me through greed, hatred, jealousy and idealisms.

Please make me humble myself more while I aim for the stars. These I pray.

Amen.

YollyD.

Love at First Sight

2005-04-30T16:30:00.001-07:00

My heart weeps I can't sleep
My mind is filled with thoughts
and those are you...

How come I've met you?
How come I liked you?

Is it coincidence? Or is it the one I'm praying for?
I hope I can see you again.

Perhaps spend some time with you again.
Only some? If I can spend my life with you... I will

To look in your eyes and see your soul.
To hold you in my arms and make it forever.
To kiss your lips and feel your heart.
To touch your face and make it my view of heaven.

To hear your voice and make it my music.
To see you smile and make it my favorite color.

I Love You...

YollyD.

A Prayer of Gratitude and Faith

2005-04-30T16:30:00.000-07:00

Dearest Jesus,

Thank You for this beautiful life. Thank You for helping me find my way and guiding me through my journey.

I thank You my Lord for taking control of my life. You've shown miracles in my life. I pray that I'll continue to do great things in Your glory.

I know that I'm not a good person. Nor am I an extraordinary person. I'm just one of Your children who believes that You'll rescue me each time I fall. Who believes that You'll always be there even when nobody sems to care.

I am a sinner. I commit the same mistakes over and over again. And for those I felt the emptiness in my heart because I know that they put distance between us.

My Lord, I thank You for taking care of my faith. I am not a good worshipper yet I truly believe that You find ways for me to find You and come back to You. I neeed You always and I depend so much on You. I truly admit that can not do the least thing without Your blessing.

My Lord, I pray that You'll appreciate the little things that I do. For I am not a great person. I always try to make the best out of what you have given me.

I do believe that You have equipped me inorder to survive and live a beautiful life. To reach my goals. Yet I still feel afraid to use it to the fullest.

The thing that I have to learn is the courage to take more risks. To face failures with positive attitude.

But for now my Lord, I'm just starting to take a step higher. And I need Your help to reach that last step.

YollyD.

I Don't Believe in Fairy Tales

2005-04-29T09:38:00.000-07:00

I don't believe in fairy tales
For if they were true
You should've been my prince.

You should've rescued my from my fears
Or kissed me to make my dreams come true.

I don't believe in fairy tales
For if they were true
I should've been happy in Your arms
Holding me so tight.

And though time passes by
I will never know
For I am sealed by your timeless embrace.

YollyD.

A Sinner's Prayer

2005-04-24T08:51:00.000-07:00

Dear Lord,

I am heartfully sorry for being too weak to resist temptations. I despise myself for not being able to live in Your words.

My guilt and my sins drive me away from You. Oftentimes, I am so shameful that I don't pray anymore. And I feel sad and afraid... and most of all isolated.

I am a prisoner of my passion... my desires... my wants... I AM A PRISONER OF MYSELF.

I know that many times You've been trying to rescue me. To hold me in Your loving arms. Cleanse my soul... my thoughts and my heart. But I resist... and instead plunge myself in sins.

When will I ever conquer myself and be with You? When will I be a good follower? A good servant? When will I deserve You?

RESCUE ME!!!

YollyD.